Joei Carlton

2010

Welcome to 2010. I remember the talented and very funny entertainer - Dean Martin - who always said that he felt sorry for the people who didn’t drink because when they got up in the morning they knew that that was the best they were going to feel.

I started off 2010 with a wicked case of food poisoning and on this date, January 6, 2010, I am finally feeling much better.  Woke up this morning feeling hungry and looking forward to my first cup of coffee in almost a week. A taste of Hazelnut and it was delish. 

2010 can only get better from here on out.

When I realized, on New Year’s day that I wasn’t up to snuff and got worse as the day went on I decided to stay in this campground for another week and called the office to arrange it. I didn’t want to be on the road feeling the way I did NOR did I want to be in a campground without knowing someone should things get worse and, of course, they did.  Thankfully I have friends in this campground who picked up a few necessary supplies like Gatorade and who checked on my from time to time every day.  Thank you to all. I don’t know what I would have done without you.

My extra week is almost up.  I’ll be moving out of my spot on Saturday morning and heading to a craft show here in the campground and then hitting the road for Indio/Palm Springs area, Quartzsite and Yuma, Arizona, El Centro, Oceanside (where my sister lives) and Sunland, California (where my nephew and family live) and by that time it’ll be early March and I’m due back in Canada March 15th. Another winter in the sunshine.

I have decided to forgo Fountain of Youth Campground at Salton Sea, California.  Too far out of the way and way to expensive ($230.00 per week).

Until my next post from someplace down the road - Happy 2010.    Joei

Heading East…..soon

I’m now in my last few days here in Hemet and looking forward to getting out on the road again.  Laundry was done this afternoon. It was sprinkling when I went over around noon and I hoped it would stop by the time I was ready to leave but it didn’t.  Didn’t do much damage.

I called a campground called Fountain of Youth in Niland, California (Salton Sea area) - which I’m told - is about 60 miles from everything - including groceries.  By the day it’s $38.00, by the week it’s $230.00 and I decided to pass it all.  Out in the middle of nowhere I wouldn’t pay $38.00 to rent a hotel room so I sure as heck won’t pay that to stay in my own 10 feet of space.

I’m in the computer room now and before leaving I’ll check out all the campgrounds in Quartzsite.  Anxious to go to the Gem and Jewelry Show that starts on January 1st and goes until February 28th. I’m back in a jewelry-making mood since I’ve sold a fair bunch since I’ve been here.  Bought some wonderful new beads at Michaels and looking forward to making up some new earrrings and anklets.

The weather is supposed to be sunny and warm for the next few days so it’ll give me an opportunity to air out my camper.  I also purchased a little traveling companion. His name is BB - I’m not sure if it stands for Brown Bear (or Bare) or Big Bopper but he’s a Gund - oh could be BB Gund - but he’s a cuddly brown bear.  If I call him BB Gund I’ll let him ride shotgun.

Have a great New Year everyone and I’ll write when I get parked someplace in Arizona.   Joei

Time to Celebrate

Don’t know why I suddenly feel that energy boost but I’ve been all over my computer.  Yesterday I did another edit of 15 of the 20 chapters of my new mini-read that I’ll be calling Down on the Farm - so far that’s the favorite. Actually that’s the shortened title of How Ya Gonna Keep’em DOWN ON THE FARM After They’ve Seen the Farm. It’s looking good and it’s funny and I’ll edit the last 5 chapters today.

Yesterday I sent my completed story called Winter Wonderland to a contest in Surrey, BC and updated Truck Camper Magazine with story and pictures about last summer hosted (in part) by BC Camping and RV Coalition and the BC Ferries.  Could have send a hundred more pictures but I don’t think the magazine had room for them all so I sent 5.  Great fun.

Also this week I joined Twitter. I have sent 6 tweets, have 5 followers AND so far got the first referrel to my website from Twitter.  I’m on a roll and I plan on continuing.  A very special “thank you” to my friend and teacher Julie Ferguson for all her help in getting me going on my new line of Mini Reads and Twitter. She is a true GEM. You can follow Julie at www.beaconlit.blogspot.com or on twitter at www.twitter.com/BLSJHFerguson.

Have a great holiday everyone and a safe and happy New Year.     Joei

Homeless at the Flying J

I’ve been on the road as an RVer too long to be nervous about the little things that can and sometimes do go wrong but the old mint green chevy that was parked behind my camper at the Flying J in London, Ontario on that late August day produced just a twinge of…..I don’t know exactly what…..but I didn’t like the feeling.

I had arrived around three in the afternoon and pulled into a parking spot directly under the lamppost that I knew would shine brightly once night arrived.  For me, it was a great place to read in bed without turning on the light that would run down my old battery. I just had to pull back the drapes and it was like being on stage with me in the spotlight. I did it all the time.

It was still early when I stopped for the day. I had already driven over two hundred miles and had, on too many occasions, driven the last hundred and thirty miles to Niagara Falls, Ontario bleary-eyed with fatigue, fighting to keep my eyelids from slamming shut over my windows to the world. I just didn’t want to go any farther and Flying J’s are just about my favorite spot to free camp. Within minutes I had purchased something to munch on and a 20 oz cup of half cappuccino, half decaf coffee and was in the truckers’ lounge watching a movie on the big screen.  If I was going to doze in a seat let it be during the slowest part of the movie and not behind the wheel of my truck.

It was around five when I went out to my camper to get some money for dinner. That’s when I first saw the slightly beat up car with the man sitting behind the wheel. Other than noticing him I just sort of put him out of my mind…..he was just resting before getting back out on the road, I thought. People did that all the time.

It was eight before I went back out to my camper. The man, somewhere in his fifties or possibly sixties, a day or two growth of beard, wearing clean clothes was still there.  I felt only slightly uncomfortable. I wasn’t scared because it was still relatively early in the day. I wasn’t overly nervous because there were lots of other people around. Besides….he was just sitting there. I went back into the lounge and settled in to watch another movie.

It was eleven o’clock and bedtime for me. I walked back out to my camper. The parking lot was illuminated by many lampposts just like the one I was parked under. The mint green chevy that had seen better days with the man, whom I assumed had also seen better days sitting behind the wheel, was still there. I just couldn’t ignore him anymore. He wasn’t going away. I approached from the passenger side, peeked inside and noticed that he was watching a little television set that was plugged into the cigarette lighter.

“Are you planning on spending the night?” I asked, expecting a barrage of swear words along with some nasty comment about “What’s it your business, lady?”

His voice was soft. The words were clear. His face was expressionless.  “Yes,” he said. “Will it bother you if I stay here?” he asked.

“No,” I replied. “This is my camper. I have lots of pillows and an extra blanket. Would you like them?” That is not what I expected myself to say. My answer surprised even me. He would have been much easier to ignore…..or better yet…..forget completely had he sworn at me.

“No,” he answered. “Bless you for asking. They took my house away from me today,” he said almost as an afterthought to the only person left in his workd that was listening to him.

“Can I help you?”

“No,” he answered simply.

It was a long night….longer for him, I’m sure, than for me but I didn’t sleep well.  I looked out several times to see him sitting there. I opened my camper door at around six. He was gone. I scanned the parking lot. Sometime during the night he had moved over three rows and was parked behind a larger motorhome. I approached from the driver’s side, no longer afraid of what he might do.

“I’m going to get a cup of coffee,” I said to him. “Can I get you coffee or a juice or breakfast?”

“No,” he said softly. “I don’t need anything. They took my house away from me.”

“I know,” I said, not knowing what else to say.

I returned to my camper, my heart aching. I stood there in the doorway wanting to do something-anything and in that split second I knew what to do. Several years ago a friend had given me a Bible when I was in pain. Someone needed it more than I did now. I grabbed the Bible from the shelf, put a few dollars into the pages, hoping he find them after I had gone, and went back outside. In those few minutes he disappeared. I don’t know where he went.

I have thought, worried, prayed and shed more than a few tears for him over the years.  I will continue.

A Time Remembered

I had hoped to send this story off to a magazine called The Spotlight but between my move to a wonderful, new and larger apartment and a joyous family gathering in downtown Vancouver I missed the deadline so I’m posting the essay in my website. 

A Time Remembered - by Joei Carlton Hossack

How unique we are as human beings that a word or a gesture of even a moment of quiet reflection will conjure up a memory from so long ago.

We were not a religious family.  Dinner Friday nights were the same as any other night except that there was no school the next day and we could all run out in different directions when it was over.

Although both my brothers had been Bar Mitzvahed we did not attend Friday night or Saturday morning services. Holiday dinners,  however, were another matter. It was a reason to get together with family - brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts and uncles.

Hannukah, 1950  -  Montreal, Quebec, Canada

I was, and still am, the baby of the family, aged six.  Mona was eleven years old. Harry, the bane of my parents’ existence, was sixteen and Nathan, the quiet one, was eighteen.  I sat next to my favorite brother, Harry.

Harry, the brother who took me to baseball games and babysat with me while my parents worked until all hours. He was the wild one who worked as a news agent on the train and took me along with him to Cornwall, Ontario from time to time. Harry, the same brother who was now whispering in my ear “I’ll give you a dime for every glass of wine you drink.”

He poured. I drank. My parents never noticed until it was too late. Just before giggling and cracking my head on the plate under my mashed potataoes I heard my mother yelling something.

Could that have been the time we discovered that red wine produces the migraine headaches that I have been plagued with for over sixty years?  I hope not but I still maintain that Harry owes me sixty cents PLUS interest.

He doesn’t remember.

A Special Weekend

November 6, 7 and 8 was a special weekend and I’m sad to say it’s over now…..but it was fantastic.  The special occasion was the Bat Mitzvah of my great niece, Dena.  All my siblings were here.  My brothers Nathan (grandfather of Dena) and Harry arrived from Montreal.  Mona arrived the same day from San Diego. Since I didn’t want to be going back and forth from Surrey I had a room in the same hotel as Mona and Harry, The Comfort Inn on Nelson in downtown Vancouver. 

Friday night I joined the out-of-towners for dinner at my nephew’s house.  Great meeting up with everyone including the grandparents on the mother’s side (also from Montreal).  A lively game of family charades preceded dinner.

Saturday morning was the Bat Mitzvah and Dena did a spectacular job.  The rabbi was wonderful and interjected many personal family tidbits.  Harry, Mona and myself were invited up to close the doors on the torah - a definite honor since I’ve never been invited up on stage.  Thank you Rob and Laura for including us.

Saturday night was the party at the Jericho Sailing Club.  The dinner was wonderful.  A video of the Life of Dena (and Daniel) was so cute and I’m delighted that my computer nerd nephew Robert (father of Dena) got to use all of his computer equipment.  My favorite part of the evening was the Drum Circle.  Took about 5 minutes but I got right into it and enjoyed drumming along with everyone else.  When the palms of my hands got sore I switched to a little rattle and when I was ready to dance I found a hollowed gourd wrapped with beads that looked and felt like a head and shook that while dancing.  A great time was had by all - especially me.

Sunday morning was a family brunch at Stephen’s (my other nephew’s) house.  WONDERFUL and all in caps.

The only way the weekend would have been better is if it had stopped raining even for just a few hours…..but this is Vancouver so what do you expect?

Some members of my family are  home now and the rest are leaving in the next day or two.  A great time was had by all.  Joei

Another publishing credit

The November issue - hot off the press - of the RV Times published one of my stories.  You can check it out at www.rvtimes.com        When the cover pops up just click on Blueprint for a Happy Retirement and voila.    Joei

How I lost 3 pounds in 30 years of dieting without going hungry - excerpt

There are few foods that I think are worth risking life and limb. For those who know me you know that seafood with a hard (crab legs, lobster, oysters, mussels, clams) or a soft (shrimp, scampi, soft-shelled crab) shell are the mouth-watering exception.  In a pinch I’ve been known to try and boil away a ton of Georgia mud to savor the unique flavor of a pound or two of crawdads.  That is how I ended up at the oyster festival in Fulton, Texas on a day not fit for dogs.

The day started out as raw as the oysters that I planned on consuming by the plateful or bucketful or (hopefully) truckload. I left the Island RV Resort in Port Aransas, on Mustang Island, and spitting distance from Corpus Christi, assuming, of course, that one is a champion spitter, with a gale force wind at my back. I looked in sheer terror at the canal I had to cross on the ferry. Between the whitecaps and giant swells I was sure we were going to be bowled over and after floundering on our side for days would surely sink down to Davy Jones’ locker.  There were only a few brave souls ahead of me in line as I drove on board - fear shriveling my heart to the size of a green pea.

How I lost 3 pounds in 30 years of dieting without going hungry

My new mini-read is now ready for shipping.  The Paypal carts have been added and the books are ready to go.  I’ve read the book about a thousand times so I’m not a good judge anymore; however, I’m told that the stories are laugh-out-loud funny.

And who knows better than Princess Joei

Eat, Travel and Laugh……that’s all I need to enjoy my life.    Joei

February 11, 2009 - My Special Birthday

My day started around 6:00 and we, Tom and Donna Clapham, Sandra Schemmer and I left the campground at 9:00 A.M.  Thankfully everyone was ready to leave early because no one wanted to be late or rushed.  It was a 2 hour drive and we stopped at a Target store along the way because the evening before I received the 5th call from the Ellen DeGeneres show making sure we were still coming AND to let us know that Ellen had teamed up with a food bank and we should bring some canned goods or non perishables.  We picked up some cans at Target.

We arrived at Warner Bros. around 11:30.  We checked in and went out for a lunch and arrived back at 12:45 ready to stand in line to get the tickets when it opened at 1:30.  We then sat around until 3:30.   Our numbers were called in groups of 30 or so and we filed in for our seats.  Until show time we were given instructions about dancing and clapping and no other noises would be tolerated.  I never danced so much in my life and ALL the activity had NOTHING to do with Ellen.

After we were all settled we discovered that our seats were right behind a camera…..so we saw almost nothing.  Ellen did her monologue which was quite funny and some of it had to do with Don’t ASSUME anything because it makes an ASS of U and ME and unfortunately that came to pass. - I’ll explain that a little later.

Her guests were Curt Warner who was adorable.  Steve Harvey was wonderfully funny and Neil Shaw who is a vet in Florida who treats animals for free if necessary.  Good Show but not worth our 100 mile each way drive.

Now I ASSUMED that Ellen would be funny, which she was. I also ASSUMED she would friendly which she definitely was NOT.  She had absolutely no repport with the audience.  During any changes she was with the crew. They were checking what was happening next. They were fixing her making. There was not one word spoken to the audience.

When the show was over she took less than 15 seconds to thank us for our enthusiasm and then she was gone.  Not even one minute to talk to the audience. 

I then stood in line to purchase a mug with The Ellen Show on it.  When I got it home I discovered a sticker on the bottom that said it was made in China and it had lead and cadmium in the color and was cancer causing.  On the way out we were given a copy of Steve Harvey’s book and a $100.00 gift card to Starbucks.

I’M DEFINITELY NOT IMPRESSED.  If this sounds too negative then you know how I must feel.

Thankfully we had an easy trip home except for getting a little lost, stopped for dinner along the way. I thoroughly enjoyed the company of my friends.        Joei