Not Tonight Honey … I’m NOT in the Mood

To read the whole story click on the Title:  Not Tonight Honey …

A few years ago (around Christmas Time) Breakfast Television in Vancouver asked the question “What is the worst gift you have ever received.  I quickly sent in my response and it was featured “on air.”

Yesterday I decided to write the whole story and here it is:  Read it and Weep


Not Tonight Honey … I’m NOT in the Mood

We had been married over ten years and, there was no question about it, Paul was the love of my life. He knew me well and understood me. Despite all of our differences, or perhaps because of them, he loved me anyway.

He didn’t lavish me with gifts but the ones he bought were always unique – sometimes for a special day – other times because he saw it in a window and knew I would love it. The size was always right. The colours were perfect and they brought out a glow or a sparkle or a shy smile meant for only him.

He knew me well enough to know that I wasn’t interested in jewelry piercing every hole in my head and larger pieces encircling every appendage but he also knew that I loved my beautifully carved, wide-band, gold wedding ring and almost never took it off my finger.

When I picked up the smallest package in the pile of presents that sat at my feet in the home of my in-laws in Fonthill, Ontario, my breath caught and all eyes in the room turned my way.  This Christmas was special. I knew it. I felt it.

I looked at Paul and I should have seen the panic in his eyes … but I didn’t. I decided to open it first. I just knew it would set the stage for the rest of the day and I could feel my face warming up … hoping that it wasn’t becoming too red with the excitement burning inside me.

I unwrapped it slowly and carefully, folding the paper neatly just in case another in the room needed to wrap a ring box. I fingered the fuzz on the outside and gently opened it and peeked inside.

Everyone in the room continued staring at me. I tried to keep the smile on my face but it was tough … so very tough. I wondered if everyone except me was in on the joke.

I read the instructions for the mood ring. It said, “as the hands warm, the ring will change colours – pink for calm, turquoise for relaxed, green for active, purple for romantic.” I couldn’t read any more – mine was black … and it stayed that way for the rest of the day.

February 11th of the following year the gift wasn’t in a box nor was it wrapped in brightly coloured Happy Birthday paper. Paul took my hand in his and placed a diamond ring on the fourth finger of my right hand. It was perfectly sized … and we lived happily ever after.


P.S. Years later Paul was subjected to a deep cavity search. And that’s how we recovered the mood ring.












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